Friday, September 24, 2010

something



the day was dull and become duller as the storm approaching... Wailing of thunder echoing through the mountain and valley.. The dark sky, now darker... I don't know what to do...

Lying down on my bed, I try to close my eyes... And suddenly, his face come to my mind..

SHHH.... go away... oh... my .... why I always saw him....

so annoying...

yet... I kind of missing him...

well...

I had this weird sensation of comfort and calmness when I am with him...

oh...my...

whats wrong with me???

unfairness...


I look into the mirror.. and saw an image of a very ugly creature... maybe its true after all about what they said about me... I am ugly, and hideous.. and not worthy to be loved..

yet.. no matter how much I want to accept that fact, its hurting me more and more... keep on wondering about my existence... Why I was born like this?? Why I have this ugly face?? if I was born perfect, then they will not be mocking me like this.. no one will make fun of me....

why God being unfair to me? I asked that question to my mother... yet, with a smile she answered my question, " God is fair to all its creation, to me, to you and to everyone...each and every living soul has had their purpose and usefulness in this world.. each and every human being are made differently, and have their own ability. no human being are born perfect. yet, human are created to perfect each other life. and you, also have your own specialty.. everyone does... just believe in yourself... and you will find it"...

over the years, I have been pondering upon her words... I cling to those words with all my heart, believing that I am special.. trying hard to see within myself, to find my place in this world...

but... all the fate and believe I had in her words, was crushed into dust in just one night... that night, the moon was hidden by the clouds... the weather were predicted to turn drastically by the end of the day, and it did... heavy downpour with thunder and lightening accompany my sleep.. half way through the night, I woke up with the desire to get something to drink... and to my delight, someone was in the kitchen. it must be mother... and my guessing was right.. she was talking with father..."I am not sure" she said... " but that kid is given us more and more problem. You know yourself, that that kid can do nothing by himself. he is useless, burdensome ...." before father could finish his sentence, mother cut him out and said." I know that kid is useless, but show some pity to that kid. that kid deserve to have a happy life... no matter how useless..." before mother could finish her words, I ran upstairs and grab a few clothes, pushing it down my backpack, I took all the money I had been saving in my piggy bank and ran downstairs, grabbing the door knob... and ran through the dark night... ignoring the shout from my mother...

rain was still pouring heavily when I reach the park. I was drenched from head to toe.. I must find a place to take cover. A bus stop was across the road. I walk to ward the bus stop, but in mid step, I froze as I saw a blinding light heading my way.........

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

wish U can c me



Everyday ...
I will silently look at you...
Silently i wish you will look at me too...

I don't know since when you come to my life..
Cause I never thought I can fall in love...
Yet it happen when I'm with you...

But I had to let you go...
Cause you already had someone else in your heart..
And i don't want to be the third person...

Sorry for loving you...
Sincerely from my heart...

-you are one person that hold the key to my heart-

U r very special


The most special…
is the way you took my hand…
is the way you look into my eyes…
is the way you hold me in your arm…
is the way you kiss me….
Is the way you love me…
is the way you and me stay together…

The most sad..
is when you shed tears alone in the dark…
is when you took responsibility for the mistake I done…
is the smile you give me even when you are in pain…
is the time when you push me away from your life…
is the time when you turn your back to me…
is when you let go of everything you ever had for me…
is when you go first without me….

So now…
I want to be with you too…
I want to be where you are now…
please let me be with you…
Without you, my existence in this world is meaningless…