IT HURT

I just want to here that one word from you, but I guess it was not for me....
Thanks for being my friend, but I guess I am the only one that want more then just a friend...
Having you when I am feeling low, you will pull me up again no matter how many time I fall...
Unlike me, you are always moving forward with all the strength you got...
Running away from the painful truth is what I always do, but you will always bring me back...
Time will past and you will find your worthy companion, and leave me behind. I know about it...

that is why IT HURT!!

The last

I didn't notice him all this time. He was the one who took picture for our class event. He was never in the picture, that is why I hardly notice him. He was so good at taking picture that the picture he take capture the feeling of the people. watching all those picture, I know that he love this class a lot.

So, for our graduation day, the class had voted that he will be our class photographer and will take some picture and also do some video recording. That day, the meeting was cancel, but I came to class to take my bag that I accidentally left in the classroom. When I was about to leave, he came in and ask. "Are the meeting over? Am I too late?". And I just remember that I forgot to tell him that today meeting was canceled. When I told him, he just shrug his shoulder and walk away. I can see that he had already get the camera from the photography club. So, I decided that we could start doing some filming."why don't we film the road that we took from school to the train station." He just agree. We walk together on the path way, the cherry blossom flowers that decorated the road was falling down. The fall had start a few weeks ago. And the trees are going to be bald in a few more weeks. Then, come the cold winter.

While walking with him, I feel my heart beat faster. Maybe I had fall for him. And he suddenly stop at the park across the train station. Under the cherry blossom tree, before the last petal drop to the ground, he said"I love you". And he turn away. Then he said" sorry. I am not suppose to say this."
"Its okay. I also feel the same"
"No its not okay. You must never love me"
after that he just go. A few day past, and he had not be coming to school. His confession, his anger, was a mystery to me. I want to know why he did that. I wish he had come

The exam week is over, yet he is not here, but a phone call from his friend explain everything.
"...Did you hear me? I say he is dead. I've heard that he was sick, and he himself know that he will not be able to live long..."
that's all I heard before my world turn pitch black. I can't believe it. He is no longer with me.

On our graduation day. We play the recording that was made. At the end of a recording, he confess to me that he love me.. and he was sorry for not be able to be by my side...

but, I will forever remember him...

the crying heart

Outside, it was raining cat and dog. I do nothing. Watching the raindrop knocking on my window, I count every and each one of them. Waiting for Mr. Rain to stop, hoping to see the shining sun.

Days turn into week, weeks turn into month, months turn into year. But the rain never stop. Keep falling on my window, with a steady rhythm. I want to see the sun shine!!

Each drop carried with it a sad story. A story of a crying heart.

Each drop told me a story of people's suffering on their own. The people that I saw at a bus stop, the people that I met at shopping mall, all these people, had their own sad stories, which being told in every drop of rain. Like rainy days, their heart was crying.

That is why I yearn for the sun to shine. To cherish the crying heart, to stop the falling tears. Give new beginning to every sad ending. And I believe, that the sun will shine again. And all those crying heart will stop, and move forward, with a refreshing beginning, like the day after the rain,refreshing!

decide

The sun retreated behind the hills at the far end site of the lake. A cold breeze blowing her hair into a total mess. Her blond hair shine like strands of gold, as the sun showered its last glimmer of golden light onto her hair. She stood there motionless, sipping in the breathtaking sight of twilight. Her hand was cold.

Warm clothes was wrapped around her shoulder, shielding her from the chilling evening breeze. She know precisely who had put that clothes around her. She smile a painful smile as she slowly turn her face to face her most devoted followers. Since she was born to this world, to the day her family lost everything, and even when she can't effort to pay him, he still serve her the same.

When her family was broke, she was left with the only thing she bought with her own money, a small wooden cottage by the side of a pristine and crystal clear lake. And now she was left alone after her parents met a fatal accident three years ago. since then, her butler, Mr. Edward, never left her side. He had his loyalty to her family for a very long time. His ancestor was also a loyal butler of her family. For generation, his family had live to serve and protect her family. But after a very long time, this family lost it glory. But butler Edward loyalty will never fade.

She knows that butler Edward sacrifice can never be repaid. And her time is running short. There is nothing much she can do now. And the time has come for her too choose between what she desire or what her family had planned for her.

The proposal had come in last week. she had been thinking about this over and over again. If she accept the proposal, she may had chance to bring glory to her family and uphold her family name. But this also mean that she had to sacrifice her own dream.

Butler Edward had also act as her adviser all this time but this is the only thing he had left the young miss to solve by herself. She know that her family name is important, yet she had her own dream to pursue. The family name is at stake.

Tomorrow at the first crack of dawn, she will be taken to the other side of the country to meet the family of her in-laws. By that time, she had to come with a solid decision.

But today, as the lake reflect the light of the moon like a huge mirror glued to the ground, she will just sat quietly on the veranda of her cottage, savoring the serenity of the night in her save and secure sanctuary.

Tomorrow, she have to decide... tomorrow.